WARNING: dissociation(?), mental instability, suicidal ideation
all an illusion?
im just gna write this here so it goes somewhere at least.
since i was a kid i can't tell the difference between real life and fantasy very well
it used to be that i just felt like someone else was in my body and i could watch myself do scary things.
i would disconnect from myself
it used to stop there and i always thought of it as a special thing i could do.
but then it deteriorated. maybe when i was 12, i started being conscious about how i'm the only person i know who is real.
i can't tell if anyone else isn't a creation of my mind.
what if everything in this life is fake? something i made up? then what's the point? what if the only way to escape it is to end it?
i'm sorry this post is pretty trash - i'm rambling worse than i ever have.
i used to think i was the only one to feel this way
but then i bought Night In The Woods, a game where you follow Mae, a anthropomorphic kitty who experiences dissociation
that game kinda changed my life
i wouldn't say that it fixed my problem but it helped me feel better that there are other people that can understand me
it doesn't feel as lonely
disconnecting,
chxshire22