i am the black void
consume... CONSUME...
recently i've been thinking a lot more about how a lot of hobbies has turned into an exercise of consumption of it instead of actually doing doing it.
i didn't just notice this now, i've noticed this a lot over the years. especially with myself when i bought a camera and wanted to get the best accessories, lens, etc for it instead of just going out and taking pictures with it.
of course, upon realisation of it i have snapped myself out of the habit. unfortunately it may manifest in other parts of my life in other hobbies (gaming) or in the people around me.
i used to play the bass and i definitely know people who are more into collecting pedals and guitars over actually playing their instrument.
same thing for bicycling.
we should set up systems around us that can recognize these patterns and inform us of it.
it can be a behavioral monitoring algorithm or simply, another person, or a social structure.
my beloved, the harbinger of bankruptcy
(i'm just kidding, she is the light of my life)
i've noticed this happening to my fiancee a lot. she has one obsession, spends a lot of money on it, then moves on to another thing to obsess over and spend money on it. like A LOT OF MONEY on it.
she says it makes her happy. i don't think she's wrong in saying that, but i think it's wrong to not acknowledge the damage it does.
happiness comes in many things, and i think spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on cosmetics, hair care, skin care, she'll never use and music albums she'll never listen to is an absurd activity.
but then again, people will say that i don't understand women and so maybe shopping is a valid way to unwind. unfortunately, it is not sustainable. both for the home, as there is no space, and her room is akin to a neckbeard's nest, a hoarder's paradise, and for the wallet, as she up until recently has been barely living paycheck to paycheck.
a restriction on myself
have you seen jujutsu kaisen? in that show, sorcerers implement restriction on themselves in order to gain a perk in exchange.
perhaps i'll take a page from that book, and put a restriction on myself, to not purchase things that i do not need, and end up not using.
the exhange of this should be that i either use the item more and in turn create more / spend more time on my hobby, or save my money. i guess those are the perks.
it's not much, but gamifying my life makes it interesting.
nom nom nom,
chxshire22