fear
really odd to put this here. but i watched a tiktok video which made me sob and fear for my future
it was about this old man, who recorded his days in ms excel, and he wrote about his fears and his regrets.
you can watch it here(warning, it's sAD).
he wrote about his regrets of not studying more, doing more with his life. wrote about his fears of being alone. of dying alone
made me think - i've been on the fence about continuing my studies for so long.
i know for a fact that i DO want to get a degree, it's just that i'm worried about the money and the time sunk into it
but i think the regret of not getting one will kill me
what i know i will end up regretting not doing
running my own business
marrying my girl
getting a degree
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taking my parents on holiday someday
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taking a long trip on a motorcycle or car (this is a long standing wish of mine)
how i'm going to cross these off
like i mentioned in my previous post, i'm planning to start an ecommerce site. if that takes off, it'll be nice
i'm planning to propose to my girl in dec of 2024 (if she reads my posts maybe she'll prep herself)
then i'm also planning to take up a small loan for school
i'm likely going to take up a course in IT, maybe something related to security or servers, failing that, maybe networking. i'm not into AI although i know that's the money maker right now
maybe i'll save up some money, about 5k sgd, invite my siblings to go to a small holiday and invite my mom to go with us and book a comfy hotel
and finally for my long trip, i need to work on getting a car license, or a bike license, then buy a malaysian vehicle.
then before i get married i'm hoping i'll have enough saved to go for a long enough trip maybe 3 months or so to go to china via motorcyle
i don't think these goals are negotiable
i have to do them
conviction
the reason why i named this post conviction is because that's how i will live my life
with purpose and conviction
i WILL do these things. i KNOW it.
hopeful,
chxshire22