dead inside

27/12/24

i am exhausted, as always

there is never enough time to do all the nothing and all the things i want to do.

there is never enough time for myself to spend time on things i want

in pursuit of saying yes to other people i have betrayed myself.

i am now perpetually tired. exhausted.

and for some reason the exhaustion seems to rot my soul

my spirit is in tatters and my mind is ripping at the seams. i seem to be walking against a current of water everywhere i go.


please let me rest

i know now that with no energy left at the end of the day my mind will crumble, every bad memory, every negative thought rushes to enter my head.

i truly feel like ending my life right here and now.


i feel a kind of anger bubbling up, a forgotten primal emotion for injustices against me i have long forgotten

a kind of anger that is harder and harder to notice is seeping out

i feel a kind of melancholy washing over me. seemingly over nothing.

i feel empty inside.


let me rest.


fuck me,
chxshire22
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