tired.

30/9/24

i need a break.

part of me hates that i gave up on searching for a software engineering job so fast.

some of my friends who graduated got a job right when i gave up. (could i have landed a software engineering job? if i stuck to it?)

maybe. idk. that's in the past now anyway. but i still can't help wondering if i did the right thing.

i'm playing catch up since my annual income is now 30k give or take. it's not a lot.

they say comparison is the thief of joy

but i'm literally earning 2k less than my friends on average. (i'm earning 3.4k, they're earning 5k)

shit sucks.

i work on the weekends because i need to play catch-up

but i think it's killing me

hobbies

they're the only thing i look forward to.

i've accepted that i will be shit at guitar and bass

i can't sing. can't draw. bad at coming up with stories.

so i come online to play World of Warcraft after work.

it gives me something to look forward to.

i enjoy trying to build up my character, making memories with my brother, and some strangers maybe.

i love geting new armor pieces and playing dress up and maybe exploring stories in world of warcraft.

starting a community

yea. started a guild in world of warcraft, it was really small initially, but someone called pixi joined.

she was pretty hardcore in recruitment, and now we're like 25 players strong.

she's so cool and super good at her recruitment.

idk if i can manage that many people but it sure seems exciting to make friends

i hope we stay on and create fun memories playing.


funny thing is, i wasn't even interested in building a guild til my friend buffy told me to make one

she was from my "guild" (they're called free companies, or FCs in FF14) in final fantasy 14 which is super huge now. i took a step back from being FC leader to just a member since i stopped logging in but the FC goes strong still

but when i've set up the guild she just ghosted me

she still talks to me about other things when i ping her but whenever i bring up the guild i started she just disappears.

what a bummer.

thankfully, the guild is thriving!!!


on other things

i went to a restaurant that i've been curious about for 7 years.

it deserves its own post and pictures so i'll wait for another day to post it up!


sleepily,
chxshire22